Defining Moment

By Cindy Mead -

Hi, my name is Cindy Mead and I was born two months premature. Due to a lack of oxygen for half an hour, I was born with cerebral palsy and have been in a wheelchair all my life (most of my life, I have been in a motorized wheelchair). I am able to speak fairly clearly, and am able to type with one finger on my left hand. I was taught to type with one finger at the age of six as part of my occupational therapy. I had very poor hand writing. I did all my school work on the typewriter.

  I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at the age of ten when my dad passed away. I am a Christian Freelance Writer, and soon to be an author. I have written a 218-page manuscript about my life, which took me ten years to finish. I mainly write devotionals and have been sending out a monthly Newsletter by email for the past year and a half. I also put my devotionals on my Blog.  

At the age of 14, I began attending a church that placed a heavy emphasis on physical healing. As I was initiated with this teaching, I began to believe that it was God’s will to heal everyone, including myself. But their teaching went further than that. I was being told that the reason I was not healed each time I went to the front to be prayed for, was because I did not have enough faith, or I had sin in my life.

In John 9:1-3, Jesus deals with this issue. “Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him saying, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”  

According to these verses, contrary to the teaching of that particular church I was attending, sin was not the reason why I was not healed. My disability, as the man that was born blind, is for the glory of God.

From the time I was a teenager, my greatest and number one goal in life was to be involved in full-time ministry of some kind. (Today, I am in a full-time Writing Ministry). I had an intense desire to be used by God in some way. Yet those in authority of this same church also taught that God could not use me unless I was healed. That was the main reason I desired to be healed so desperately. But because I wasn’t healed, the leaders of the church, especially the Senior Pastor, would not give me opportunities to be involved in the church. I was very hurt on many occasions. This went on for seven years.

But, in September 1980, there was a major turning point or “defining moment” in my life. I do not remember how I heard about Conquerors, which was a Christian organization, operated for and by Christians with physical disabilities. I was on the Board of Directors for three terms of three years each. Of course, able-bodied people were greatly needed to do the things which the disabled could not do on their own and for providing transportation.

  Each year, Conquerors held a week-long Bible Conference which I attended for the first time in 1980. I had no idea how the next week would change my perspective on the rest of my life.

As supper and the evening service were the only activities planned that day, I had some time to read outside before supper. While I was reading, I came to Jeremiah 9:23-24, “Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches; But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me.” What I believe the Lord was saying in this passage was, “Don’t glory in the gifts and talents I have given you, but glory in the fact that you know Me.” Jesus said the same thing to His disciples after they had returned from a mission trip and were excited about their success. “Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, ‘Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name’…And He (Jesus) said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven…Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:17, 20).

On the first day, during the evening service, the Chairperson, who was blind, announced that there was going to be a poetry contest and the winner would be presented with a large print Bible. At that time in my life, I always brought my writing with me wherever I went, so I was ready to submit my poetry.

I do not have the space right now to share the events of that week, but I was amazed at how content these people were with their situations. They weren’t concerned about being healed. They were thankful for whatever, and however they were able to do the simple things of life.  Allow me to tell you of one person, Barb, who is now with the Lord. Due to severe cerebral palsy, Barb could not use her hands, yet in a number of services, she was playing the keyboard, one key at a time, with a stick in her mouth to worship her Lord. What determination!

But I must quickly skip to and tell you about the last evening of the Conference as this was when my “defining moment” came. Two very significant events took place during the evening service that would change the way I looked at my situation for the rest of my life. The first significant thing that happened was when the Chairperson announced that I had won the Poetry contest.

The second event was watching the “Joni” film. It is about a 17-year-old girl who had a diving accident and became paralyzed from the shoulders down. For years now Joni has had a very successful ministry, Joni And Friends, reaching out to other disabled people, which she would not have been able to do so effectively without being in a wheelchair.

During the very last scene of the movie, it shows Joni in her wheelchair speaking to a very large audience at a Billy Graham crusade. As my eyes were watching that scene, I was hearing a still, small voice speaking to my spirit saying, “Cindy, I do not have to heal you to use you. I can use you just the way you are. And one day, I am going to expand your writing ministry to a very great degree.” I knew I had just heard the Lord. With tears flowing down my face, I dedicated myself and my writing afresh to the Lord that night. 

      My friends in the church knew just by looking at me and hearing me talk that a major change had taken place. Before I attended the Conference, being healed was the most important thing in my life. After the Conference, it no longer mattered if I was ever healed. In fact, I said to the Lord, “If I can serve you better sitting in a wheelchair, then that is where I want to be for the rest of my life. I do not care if I am ever healed.” Two years later, after I had re-committed my writing to the Lord, 100 Huntley Street published a small booklet of my testimony and a few of my poems. We serve a faithful God!

Today, over forty years after that Conference, I am living in a Long-Term Care Home, and I am seeing the budding of a writing ministry. It seems ironic that I would be beginning a writing ministry in a place where people come to live out the final years of their lives.  

In closing, I just want to encourage you that no matter what you have been through or what people have told you, or how badly you have been hurt, God has great plans for you and He desires to use you in His Kingdom as well. “For I know thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11).